Ten things a year in a tech start-up has taught me
This action fixes most tech problems
Turn it off and turn it on again. Works 90% of the time. Srsly.
Tech is a fashion-free zone
The trainer is the singular object with which to express any fashion credentials or colour - everything else is a sea of Mark Zuckerberg t-shirts and jeans.
Millennials can't spell
But Trump and global warming don't seem to depress them and they are wildly enthusiastic about the future, which, if you spend enough time with them, is highly contagious.
Creatives can't code
And tech wonks can rarely create. Luckily we both need each other more than ever. Hurrah.
Only two apps matter
Food arrives in a blue box on a bike and transport is via a Toyota Prius - take away its Deliveroo and Uber apps and ultimately the tech world might collapse. (BTW they secretly think it's 'free' and simply add it to their student debt mountain).
You have five years (our VCs claim 10 but I don’t believe them) to make a success of your start-up
Then it's game over - those once benevolent VCs want their exit money, thank you very much.
Never charge your phone on your bedside table
Wedded to it all day, you need to give your frazzled brain a rest at night from your phone. See latest study on radio frequency radiation here.
Data is the new power
No single government is as powerful as these FAANG tech behemoths - Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix and Google (Alphabet) - nor does any government seem capable of reigning in their unstoppable domination.
Instagram is king
LinkedIn may be for sales teams and Twitter for the chattering media classes but if your start-up can nail Instagram it can sell anything. (Though following it relentlessly may give you mental health problems.)
PS: Rule no 1 is all you really need to know